blue skies, megaphones, and spotlights.

Blue skies smiling at me::Nothing but blue skies do I see::Bluebirds singing a song::Nothing but bluebirds from now on::Never saw the sun shining so bright::Never saw things going so right::Noticing the days hurrying by::When you're in love my how they fly::Blue days all of them gone::Nothing but blue skies from now on:: "Blue Skies" written by Irving Berlin

Thank you, Mr. Berlin, for this toe tappin' tune indeed.

There is a certain irony to jamming out to this song in misty filled air and falling rain; hence the sky is full of clouds and the land is blanketed with a light fog...yeah, no blue skies.
...at night; hence it's dark out...yeah, no sun shining bright.
...while driving down a dirt road that has turned to mush; hence you're pretty much muddin' in your Bonneville....yeah, a good ol' pick up truck would have seemed more fitting as waves of muddy water splashed Bertha (my car).

Yet, even without being behind the wheel of a pickup, there was a certain kind of spunky, fun irony as this song was the soundtrack playing in my car to the scene described above while driving home from a friend's house last week. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the situation in my car or at the irony of what I was feelin' around me.

Hmmm...maybe irony isn't the right word here.

I'm thinking that shifting atmospheres is more like it. I laughed partly at the irony but mostly because I knew a shift was in process.

Yes...shifting atmospheres...

Ya know, like changing the mood or the vibe of what's going on in and around you. Or choosing a new outlook. Not coming under that dreariness of the day but standing over it. Not partnering with "blah" but linking arms with "blue skies" instead.

Bottom line is that it's choosing to ask God what He's doing in a circumstance and choosing to live from His truth and reality...not the dreariness of what we see or feel around us sometimes. That dreariness...that's not God, fyi. So no linking arms with it. The things we say and speak over ourselves, others, our circumstances...this is what we are agreeing with. The things we fix our eyes on...this is what we are linking arms with and this is what we are becoming. This matters...big time. More on this later.  

The sun hasn't shone here for over a week but "Blue Skies" has been playing frequently. In my head. Through speakers in my apartment. In my car as I drive from one place to the next. Through headphones as I run around town.

Surprisingly, I'm not sick of it. That's good news because there's something about this song right now that God is using to keep me connected to His perspective on things. In recent weeks, there were a few times I almost let myself get stuck in a pit of yuck while clouds of discouragement and depression hovered around me.

But blue skies are what I'm declaring and choosing to see.
 

"Nothing but blue skies do I see..." *toes-a-tappin* Have a listen. It's hard to sit still.

Choose not to give the junk you might be sensing around you right now your megaphone...aka your voice. Or your time. Your attention. Your focus.

Choose to stop shining a spot light on the negative. Yes, even what can seem like the smallest of things. If the spotlight is on those things, large or small, that means the spotlight is not shining on God, who is the One truly deserving of the spotlight and who has the solution to shift the atmosphere into something of Him. He wants to show you how to partner with Him to bring a change!

I'm not saying to ignore stuff you may need to deal with. But we need to position ourselves by focusing on God's perspective so we can release the qualities of the Kingdom of Heaven and change some atmospheres...

eager expectation.

Sons and Daughters of God - Arise and Shine 

"For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed." 

Romans 8:19

a quest to understand purity. [part 1: questions]

What is purity?
How does it impact and influence us?
Why does it matter?

I'm incredibly intrigued by these questions lately and I am officially on a quest to answer them along with many more.

I've been curious about mindsets regarding purity...starting with my own. What do I think or believe about purity and what it means to live a pure life? (Reflections will come in future posts. Stay tuned.)

What about you?

What is your current mindset regarding purity? What kinds of things come to mind when you hear that word? What do you think it means to live a pure life?

Okay, now let's step outside our individual mindsets.
  
What is the current mindset about purity in our family or community of friends?
In our workplaces?
In our cities?
In our countries?
In this world as a whole?

Lastly, though not of least importance just because I'm mentioning it last, what is heaven's mindset about this? What is God's perspective about purity? Truly?  

Note that my question isn't what I (or you) think God's heart may be regarding purity. I want to know the answer to that question as if sitting face to face with God and him speaking straight from his mouth what his heart and mindset is regarding this.

So yep - lots of questions...stirring things up a bit...getting us to think...  

This is just the beginning - much more to come about something that I'm increasingly believing is a big deal in our lives and in our world...

a large man in flannel and his (also large) blue ox.

I have 24 blog post drafts so far. At one time or another, I had a burst of inspiration to write about something going on inside or around me. Some of these posts only made it to the title life stage of a blog post. Others have a few smatterings of sentences underneath the title. I just spent awhile looking through them thinking maybe tonight was a night to dive back into one of them.

  

Nope. Not feelin' it.

  

So here's another burst of inspiration of a post that I'm believing won't become the 25th in my list of drafts... 

  

Today was great. Full. Eye opening. Challenging at moments. Emotional at others. Inspiring. Lots of thoughts, ideas, hopes, and questions floating around me right now. I know that things will filter into place in God's timing. So much is happening in this city. And inside of me.

  

Out of numerous reflections from the day, here's one: 

  

It's incredible how many people not from the area pass through Bemidji. 

  

Seriously.

  

I heard someone say the other day that the Paul and Babe statues are one of the most photographed touristy...things...in the country. (I apologize for my lack of correct words to describe this right now. It's late. Ha.) I had a hard time believing that, honestly. I could see that being a possibility for the state of Minnesota. But the whole country? It got me thinking.

  

Could there be some truth to that (possible) "fact"?

  

Today I met and prayed with a beautiful gem of a visitor from out of state who had never been here before and asked how to pronounce "Bemidji." I sat on a bench and talked with another visitor from out of the country who had never been to Bemidji and was just passing through as well.

  

For at least an hour, I watched as numerous people posed by Paul and Babe to take their picture with the large man in flannel and his (also large) blue ox. I have a growing curiosity about where everyone is traveling from to spend an hour, a day or two or more in Bemidji, MN. And what's drawing them here?

  

I have a few ideas. But that's maybe for another time and for another blog post. Or at the least a draft with a clever title of sorts.

  

Oh, and the word I was looking for earlier was tourist attraction. Ha. Figured that out as I did a little research to either confirm or deny the statement about Paul and Babe's popularity with cameras.

  

Wikipedia did have something to say about this. Maybe there's some truth to their being known around the country?

  

Regardless of just how many people come and take their picture with the dynamic duo on the left, I'm thankful people are setting foot in this city, even if just for an hour or two.

  

There's a reason...

a little bit of a lot of things.

Headphones. (check)

Good tunes. (check)

Laptop. (check)

Cozy cloths - aka zip up long sleeve and favorite pair of ripped jeans. (check...and by the way, I don't care if ripped jeans aren't in style anymore. Wayyyyyyy too comfortable for that to matter right now.)

Sitting on cozy couch in downtown coffeeshop. (check)

Stirred up thoughts. (check)
  

Seems I'm ready to blog.
  

Except I'm not so sure what's going to come out today. Usually I have a destination in mind. A theme of sorts. A known direction.
   

Yeah...not today.
  

You're about to get a little bit of a lot of things. Just a heads up. So if you are looking for an introduction, 3 main points, and a solid conclusion, you won't find it here. But if you want to travel down a windy (as in twisty-turny) little path that leads...somewhere...then follow me...
  

Soooo...anyone else a bit unsure what to do with the fact that it's already August 9th? What just happened this summer?
  

There's a hint of fall in the air today here in Bemidji. I was actually chilly outside earlier today.
  

Maybe the holes in my jeans created a draft.
  

Anyway...
  

This summer wasn't what I thought it would be in some ways, yet I'm quite sure that it has been exactly what it was supposed to be. For that, I am thankful. God is good. He is faithful.
   

Here are a few significant elements of my summer:

1st year School of Transformation wrapped up early May. (Incredible year - worth every minute of time. Heading into year #2 next month.)

I changed up my work schedule. (Creating space for new adventures.)

I moved back downtown. (Love love love.)

Dreaming, strategizing, and getting anchored. (...yeah...this is worthy of it's own focused blog entry...)

Healing and growing. (Lies exposed and truth embraced. Bill Johnson is right when he says, "I cannot afford to have a thought in my head that is not in His about me.")
  

That's a good word right there. (I should probably credit that sentence to Kris Vallotton.)
  

Don't know who I'm referring to? Check out ibethel.tv and get to know these world changers. And become a world changer yourself.
  

Speaking of the word "change" - September is around the corner and it seems that it will mark another turn on this road of life. Transition to transition. Or is it glory to glory? I like the latter way of seeing it.
  

I don't really know what this change all is, I just feel it coming. School of Transformation will start up again. I'm sure this has at least something to do with it. But I sense it's much more than that.
  

I will also say "Adios!" to my 20's as I celebrate my 30th birthday in September. Thaaaaaaaat was a little weird to type just now...haha...but I am genuinely excited! 

  

There really is something about this new decade...
  

Well, what else?
  

I'm pretty stinkin' proud of my all my neices and nephews, but today two nieces are especially on my heart. One is already oversees and serving in the Army. So proud of her! Another is leaving the state Monday to start basic training. Also so proud...We have a skype date this weekend. Skype goes on my thankful list this weekend.
  

I was this close (imagine my thumb and index fingers mere millimeters apart right now) to making a surprise trip down today. But something in me said "stay."
  

Sooo...here I am with my headphones in, good tunes on, and laptop currently covering my ripped jeans while I sit on a cozy couch in a downtown coffeeshop releasing some of my stirred up thoughts for the world to see.
  

Well, that came back around to the beginning of this twisty-turny little path in a way I didn't expect an hour ago. Perfect.
  

So peace out, ya'll. I'm hungry.

likable frequencies.

It's that time again for the top 10+ list of songs that my ears enjoy tuning into lately. Maybe it will expand your own list of likable frequencies. 

1. Stories by Bellarive
2. God of the Redeemed by Jeremy Riddle/Bethel Church
3. Postcard From 1952 by Explosions in the Sky
4. San Solomon by Balmorhea
5. Rain (Live) by Noel Robinson
6. Light by The Album Leaf
7. I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz
8. Sing by Bellarive
9. Settler by Balmorhea
10. Set A Fire by United Pursuit Band 
10+. You Know Me (feat. Steffany Frizzell) by Bethel Music - The Loft Sessions
10+. Embrace by Jake Hamilton

If you have any for me, let me know. I'm always up for new discoveries!

detail-atten-hut.

I did not wake up today thinking I'd blog about marching band. In fact, I did not wake up thinking I would blog at all.

But here I am...writing about...marching band. Yyyep.

My amazing friend since 3rd grade, Amy, posted on my Facebook wall yesterday. This is what stirred up this whole marching band thing today. My senior year show was called "Summon the Future Heroes" - with music from Back to the Future and the Olympic theme song, "Summon the Heroes". Given that the opening ceremonies for the 2012 Summer Olympics occurred today, I'm guessing the song got in her head and then reminder her of the 2000 field show...and then she reminded me.

Thanks to YouTube, I found one video from my senior year Indoor. Too fun...

When I started high school I had my foot in the door of two worlds. Sports and music. I decided to focus on just one as I started high school. Music it was.

I grew up in a town that makes me proud to say I was a band geek. I totally was, too. I'm not ashamed to say it. Haha

Seriously though, my four years as a Marching Jay were more influential than I could have imagined they would be when I started as a freshmen.

There are certain things still ingrained in me because of that season of life.

Example #1: Sometimes when I run, I run in step with the song I'm listening to because it keeps me going at a certain pace. Here's the geeky part - I have to make sure I'm stepping down on my left foot on beats 1 and 3.

I can't help it.

Example #2: Hearing the song, "You'll Never Walk Alone", played by a band or drum corp gives me chills. Here are the 1993 Jays - this is how the season always ends at the Indoor. 

  
Example #3: Push ups always remind me of band. Yes, we did A LOT of push ups in marching band. Yay for strong arms. 

Example #4: Poker chips don't remind me of poker. They remind me of marching band. If that makes zero sense to you, I'm going to leave you wondering.

While these examples are true, they are are just kinda fun. However, there are a number of transforming influences from this season of life.

I learned much about hard work and discipline. Countless hours preparing, learning music, drill, waking up at sunrise, building team...all so valuable. I learned more about unity, focus, and pressing through challenges and conflict. This season was a big part of me stepping out as a leader. This time also had a profound impact in my faith journey.

One of my best band buddies was Leah. We both played clarinet so we spent a lot of time together. Her and her family loved on me extravagantly. Funny thing, it turned out we used to play together when we were much younger at the lake. My uncle had a cabin next to her and her family when we were little kids. Leah was home schooled until freshmen year so we didn't reconnect until we started marching band in 9th grade. God is good.

God worked through Leah to introduce me to Jesus. I gave my life to Christ during high school. I am so thankful for a friend who loved God, loved me, and listened to His leading, took risks, and made invitations that led to me coming into relationship with God, too...her modeling this has since inspired me.  

So there ya go...it's been a day of remembering many things. Amy, thanks for the post of my wall that reminded me of the good ol' times as a Marching Jay.

Past and present directors, students, parents, and community members - Thank you for being a part of establishing and carrying forth this amazing program in Waseca. It's so much more than a bunch of kids marching around on a football field or a high school gym floor. This program helps build character in the lives of young students. I was one of hundreds shaped by the important qualities of this program. Thank you!

Annnnnnd just for fun, just in case you are into this, here are a few more videos I found today.

Top Velocity was one of my favorite parts of the Indoor. It hi-lites visual creativity in marching. It's pretty cool, in my opinion. Then again, I was a marching band geek so of course I'm going to find this awesome. ;)

Enjoy...

running. [part 3 - wind]

I shall begin with a few sentences to clarify which "wind" I'm talking about here.

  

Not this - "The road winds around the trees in the forest."

But this - "Forceful winds uprooted trees around the entire city."
  

Not this - "I'm running on the path that winds around the park."

But this - "I'm running against the wind."
  

I used to check the wind conditions before going on a run and would plan my route based on that. I would try to start against the wind and then turn around and have the wind against my back for the second half.
  

I certainly preferred it behind me.
  

It seems the majority of the time I run lately, it's not a calm day in the atmosphere. It's windy. And I press against it.
  

There's something about that...
  

I just read this on Beni Johnson's blog.
  

It makes sooo much sense to me.
  

I am one of those "feelers" that she refers to. And lately, I am picking up on restlessness and anxiety. (One thing I learned this last year, not all I feel is just me. Sometimes it is in me and I need to work through that with God and break partnership with things. Sometimes it's something I pick up, so to speak, that's going on around me or what others around me are feeling. Or lately, for me, I think it's been a bit of a mixture of both. He's doing a lot right now...a good stirring.)
  

In this anxiety or restlessness...or another word that I can't quite pinpoint yet, I do feel like I'm pushing against the wind in a spiritual sense. Just as when I am literally running against the wind it takes determined energy, strength, and focus to keep moving forward it has been that way in intercession, time with God, keeping peace, embracing Truth...all have been a very intentional, determined choice to live in.
  

A couple weeks ago I was running around Bemidji and it was...surprise...windy. I don't even bother to check weather conditions anymore. If I'm to run from point A to point B, I'm taking that route. I'm not going to avoid wind to get to my destination or make it easier.
  

Although I sure do want to...
  

I heard this as I was pressing in and moving forward with extra effort that day - "You keep running. Keep pressing against the wind until the winds shift and are behind your back. I am your strength. I am stronger...therefore, you are stronger."
  

I knew this was speaking into my journey with God, leadership, relationships, transitions...plus more I'm sure. And as this week has unfolded, it believe a word for the community of people who are following hard after Jesus right now.
  

I was praying with some amazing friends last night and those words came up again. And then I saw a whole line of people running in the same direction, pressing against the wind together. At first they didn't realize there were others running with them. But they began to look around and their eyes were opened to see that they were not alone on their run. A new strength came upon them.
  

There were people who were the forerunners taking the brunt of the resistance. But then there were tens, then hundreds, then thousands, then millions and beyond of people joining in on the run behind them. Those leaning in at the front of the pack paved a way for so many others to run with greater ease. And the forerunners were overjoyed in that reality.
  

Don't fix your focus on the wind. It's there. But fix your focus on the One who is stronger. Fix your focus on the direction you are going and the destination point. Fix your focus on the fact that you are not alone on your run. Fix your focus on the fact that your pressing in against the wind is making a way for millions of others to join in. Fix your focus on the fact that with so many people going in the same direction with such determination and mighty strength, it will shift the wind's direction.
  

You.Keep.Running.

this is what You do. [part 3]

You awaken Your Bride.
[radiance]

You call us to step out onto the water.
[faith]

You set a fire down in our souls.
[uncontainable]

You give authority and send us out.
[commission]

You crave partnership.
[destinies revealed]

You speak.
[tune in]

You hide secrets for us to find.
[thoroughly searching]

You provide.
[jehovah jireh]

You correct and readjust.
[thank you]

You create.
[breathtaking]

You make the way available.
[wrath satisfied]

You give Your presence.
[open heavens]

You breathe Your Spirit into us.
[supernatural lifestyle]

You calm the storm.
[peace]

You make us laugh.
[contagious joy]

You give rest.
[good night]

how could i not.

I see God's hand extended towards me.

"Do you trust me?"

(When I hear this familiar voice, how could I not?
When I look into His eyes that burn with fire, how could I not?
When I feel the power of His Spirit running through my veins, how could I not?)

"Yes, Papa, I trust you," as I reach out and take his hand.

give it away.

Henry Poole Is Here = one of my favorite movies.

It's not fast moving, doesn't have you hanging on the edge of your seat, nor is it even that well known.

But I am so captivated by it.

Here's a taste...

I love the artistic beauty. I love the colors and shots that the camera captures.

I love that it speaks of hope.

I love that it creates an appetite in the soul to crave something more to believe in than what the world offers.

I love that it compels me to dish out the Hope I have been given. Freely receive...freely give...

I love the uniqueness of the characters and how they transform individually and how they impact each other as the story unfolds.

I also love the soundtrack. Seriously good music.

My ringtone (and morning alarm) right now is the bridge from the song "All Roads Lead Home" by Golden State. 

I'm breaking through these walls of steel. Pushing that wall for something real. I'm falling far and faster still. Wake up, wake up, wake up...everyone and everything.

Have a listen.

A number of songs on the soundtrack aren't even played during the movie. I think that might be the case for this next one. It's called "Believe" by The Bravery.

This one stirs me up big time. I listened to it recently and I couldn't help but hear this as a song ringing out in the world from those looking for something to believe in. 

Can you hear anyone around you singing it?

(Chorus) So give me something to believe - Cuz I am living just to breathe - And I need something more to keep on breathing for - So give me something to believe

God spoke to me as a listened, "You have the answer. You have what people want. Give it away. Give people something to believe. Me."

Let's give our families something to believe.

Let's give our cities something to believe.

Let's give our neighbors something to believe.

Let's give our workplace something to believe.

Let's give the man behind the counter at the coffeeshop something to believe.

Let's give the little girl playing in the park something to believe.

Let's give the woman in the grocery store something to believe.

Beloved Bride of Christ - you have been fully empowered by the Spirit and *commanded to release what our world is singing out for. Love of God, move us...

"As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of God is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." Matthew 10:7-8

*Commanded does not equal suggested.

running. [part 2 - hydration]

Be careful what you say.

 

Because before you know it, you'll be committing to run 13.1 miles...and paying money to do it.

 

You couldn't have paid me enough money to run long distances when I was younger. I liked to sprint short distances. Give me the 50 yard dash, please. And I'll go fast and actually have fun doing it. But the mile?

Let me put it this way - The mile run day in gym class was the least looked forward to day of the school year growing up. Really.

 

So how did I find myself, three years ago, willingly dishing money out of my own pocket to run 13.1 miles? Actually, if I were to add up all the training miles, I bet I was paying to run well over 100 miles. 

 

I'm telling you, the words you speak can make things happen...

 

It started when I watched my friend run a full marathon while I lived in Duluth. Being amidst the atmosphere of the weekend's events were so exciting and motivating, I totally got swept up into it all. 

 

Because of this, I released the words, "I'd like to be a part of this someday. I bet I could do a half..." 

 

My friends heard me. 

 

Two years later, one of them wanted to run Grandma's Half Marathon and conveniently remembered my statement.

 

"Hey Suzanne, I remember you saying..."

"Ummm, hmmmm, you sure that was me who spoke that? I...think you have the wrong friend." Ha.

 

Yeah, I remembered, too. But sitting in cozy pants on my couch while contemplating running any distance, let alone 13.1, wasn't quite as motivating as standing in Canal Park cheering on the runners and getting caught in the hype a couple years before when I first made the comment.

 

Fast forward through the hesitancy. I decided to go for it. I hit up Austin- Jarrow and bought new running shoes.

 

It was go time. 

 

At first, I had one goal: Don't die in the process. 

 

Yes, aiming high, I know. 

 

After I got into a training groove, I quickly realized that was a do-able goal. 

 

I'm not saying there weren't some really hard days and tough runs, but I am convinced that anyone could complete a half marathon when one sticks to training and a healthy lifestyle.

 

After I became confident I would indeed live through this experience, I made a new goal.

 

It then became to run the entire 13.1 miles, no walking.

 

I believed it was attainable, but knew it was going to stretch me.

 

The best long run of my life was about two weeks before race day. I ran 12 miles on a beautiful Duluth Saturday. No walking. I felt amazing. After that, I figured that achieving my goal on race day would be no problem and I actually considering trying to go for it under a certain time. But race day didn't feel the same as the 12 miler a couple weeks before it. I hit mile 11 on race day and wasn't sure I could do it. My first goal of not dying slipped back into my mind. Haha, okay, kind of playing this up a bit...but it was seriously rough near the end.

 

Hot, humid conditions, getting up at 4am, the excitement of it all, thousands of people...very different conditions than a quiet run on your own on the lake walk.

 

But I kept moving forward. Friends were camped out downtown right at the time I needed to hear them cheering and shouting at me to keep going and that I could do it.

 

Eventually, I crossed the finish line. 

 

That felt gooooooooooooood.

 

As I sat with my friends soaking our feet in the cool waters of Lake Suprerior, enjoying our dip n dots and strawberries, I thought about the run and was debating if I could say that I accomplished my goal of not walking.

 

Here's the deal.

 

There are water stations throughout the route. At first, I was steady and strong enough to run by, swipe a cup, and drink as a ran. Closer to the end, I wasn't as strong & steady...or graceful. Haha

 

My upper body wasn't steady like it was in the beginning, and I couldn't keep running and drink the water without it sloshing out of the cup and all over me. Which felt good given the heat, but that doesn't keep you hydrated.

 

So for the last few water stations, I walked a few steps, giving me enough time to slam down some water.

 

So, technically, I walked and did not run the entire time. 

 

However, at the end of the day, I decided not to count that against me. I don't feel that I missed my mark. Maybe I'm justifying, but oh well.

 

Since I couldn't get much water in my body without walking, I chose to walk in order to stay hydrated and keep my body in the best shape that I could in order to cross that finish line.

 

There are so many parallels when the physical act of running and the idea of running spiritually. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, as I certainly feel like I am running now.

 

Staying hydrated both physically and spiritually right now and for the course ahead is so critical. I need to remind myself that there will be times I need to rest and drink some water. I may need to stop running for a bit in order to do that in restoring ways.

 

I just finished my last book report for school, called God's Generals. It looks into the lives of 12 great revivalists throughout history. There's so much to learn from their stories.

 

Amidst many great successes, the author wasn't shy to include the areas in which these amazing men and women didn't stay the course. Not to criticize them, but to learn from them.

 

One theme I noticed in their lives was their lack of caring for themselves, especially physically. They neglected good rest. Some neglected eating healthy. The stories didn't indicate one way or the other if any of them would exercise or not. I'm guessing there wasn't a whole lot of that going on. They came to a point of burn out and breakdowns.

 

I liken it to them running a long distance and not slowing down for the water stations to keep themselves hydrated in order to finish well. They kept pushing forward. There's a time to push forward. There's also a time to walk a few steps and drink some water. And eat strawberries. (Those were along the route, too.) 

 

There's much ahead in this race that I, and so many others, are running right now.

 

Let's take care of ourselves - physically, spiritually, emotionally. The whole shabang.

 

It's too important not to!

in bold lettering.

I saw the city.
  

The word HOPE        

                        out of the ground.

                    p    

                  u

           

               g

             n

            i        (HOPE)

          s   

         i        

       r

was
  

HOPE breaking through.
  

Emerging.
  

HOPE that has been underground all along. 

                     

It's been shaken intensely
      by the worshipful cries

           and joyful declarations
               of the Sons and Daughters.
  

It's been stirred.

                       It's been awakened. (this hope)

HOPE has been pressing through the hard underground in every direction - 

                  b r e a k i n g  i t  u p .
  

Loosening the soil.

Tilling it.

Plowing it.
Cultivating it.

Preparing it...
  

For the time of break through.
  

The.Time.Is.Now.
  

Let HOPE Arise.

running. [part 1 - and we're off]

I converted.

It took me a few years, but it finally happened.

I'm now typing on a brand new (to me) mac computer. I just sent a text on an iPhone 4S.

I have turned into a mac girl. 
An apple girl. 
A mac apple girl. 

However you wanna say it.

Bottom line is - things are a changin'.

While I quite enjoy the iPhone, at first I kinda missed some of the features of my little Driod. Or maybe it wasn't completely the phone that I missed. I think I actually missed the familiarity of knowing what I was doing and how to navigate on it. The first couple of days with the new phone, I just didn't know what I was doing so I didn't know all the cool tricks. But I've been learning. And the more I learn, the more I like it.

I kinda feel that way about life right now. I'm stepping into some new things yet again. Don't exactly know what I'm doing but I know with confidence I am to step forward. Lots of details are yet to fall into place. But they will as I move forward. And the more I move forward and the more I learn, the more I like it. 

It's been such a season of sitting at the feet of Jesus. It's been incredible.

But things are a changin'.

Now it's go time.
  
Time for some legitimate forward movement.

Time to run.

It seems that's the case for so many right now. Coincidence? Doubt it. I don't think it's a coincidence at all.

So if you find yourself stepping into new places, new roles, new ways of spending your time and resources, running an accelerated pace, stepping into unfamiliar or uncharted territory...name it whatever you like...if this resonates with you - would faith, love, and hope in Christ be your driving forces.

"We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 1:3

This running is a time of work, labor, and endurance. But take heart because we don't need to pour out of our own strength.

Let faith produce your work.

Let love prompt your labor.

Let hope inspire your endurance.

You keep running. 

declarations of a warrior daughter.

(As part of Bemidji Area School of Transformation, we do a lot of reading. For each book, we write a book report. The following is a portion of my book report for Spirit Wars, by Kris Vallotton. Quotes are from Spirit Wars and page numbers/chapters are noted.) 
  
I walk this world as a Warrior Daughter. 

My feet tread upon ground that belongs to my Warrior King and His children. I press forward with confidence knowing “there is no victory without a battle, no testimony without a test and no miracle without an impossible circumstance.” (pg 71)

  

I used to be dry bones. But no longer! In my dark times, the Lord began to “arise and shine His spotlight on [my] brokenness in order to make [me] whole.” (pg 56)

  

My new reality – my new normal – is that I am freely living flesh, mind, soul, and spirit. My new normal is not “an exhausting wrestling match with a dead man, but is an abundant, joy-filled life with God, salted with an occasional season of strong resistance from our archenemy.” (pg 44)

  

I arose to the sound of my Warrior King’s voice. He equipped me to keep standing through any circumstance.

My circumstances do not determine my inner condition, no matter the season. (chapter 8, pg 121) I will have the posture of sitting when he calls me to retreat and rest with him. I will have the posture of walking when God says “forward movement, Warrior Daughter”. And through it all, I will stand on his promises. I will stand and face the winds.

I will stand firm, as a rock camps itself in the beds of the river and is unmoved as the currents sweep past it. I will hold the ground promised to me. I am steady because that’s how He made me. I choose to be who my Papa created and destined me to be.

 
I will live and pray offensively. (pg 123) Negative circumstances do not rule me. I don’t let them. It’s really quite simple. I will keep my peace.

  
No need to complicate something that is inherently uncomplicated.

  

As a pioneer advancing into new territory, I will remember the “rules of engagement.” (chapter 3) Jesus is my advocate. He is my attorney. I will let him handle the cases.

  

The enemy’s thoughts, speculations and lofty things cannot enter my thought processes because my mind is a gatekeeper and will not make agreements with those things.

  

A “NO TRESSPASSING” sign is planted firmly in the ground outside my mind. The words are true and hold great authority.

  

If I realize that any partnership has been made, I will break it off by rejecting any ownership. “When [I] refuse to be impressed, alarmed or concerned by these thoughts, it is a sign of destruction for our opponents and of victory for us.” (pg 50) Steadily choosing this will cause a snowball effect of victory for the now…and for the future.

  

I will walk in authority in the place of influence and “sphere of authority” that He has assigned me. (metron - page 65) I will “remain inside my own metron” as this is where I am fully equipped, fueled with insurmountable faith and confidence, and supernaturally infused to “do even greater things than these”. (John 14:12)

   

I choose to remember that as God promotes me in areas of influence, He protects me. (pg 74)

  

I sense that promotions will come as I get more and more healthy. I will take care of myself – body, mind, soul, and spirit. He created us to be wholly healthy. We can walk in complete health now.
  

He has been showing me areas He is restoring to health in my life. He is showing me the value and goodness of accountability and places for honest feedback in a culture rooted in love and empowerment. These are the areas God has hi-lited in the previous week.

::Where do I seek affirmation? He’s been uprooting unhealthy aspects here and bringing me into alignment with Him. I’m learning to unplug from other sources and plug straight into the One who affirms my identity. After all, He is the one who gave it to me. He knows me best. 

:: Confrontations/”So what are you going to do about this…” kind of conversations

As I was journaling about this, I wrote “I do not want to rise up unhealthy people or reproduce unhealthiness!” Then He had me write what I will do: “I will empower healthy, kingdom minded revivalists.” And then God had me take one more step back and declare, “I will be a healthy, kingdom minded revivalist.” I so desire health right now because it’s imperative to move forward. 

::Financial stewardship – budget and STICK WITH IT

::Time stewardship – what/where/who are my “yes” places? It’s time to ask God this question again. 

::Work realm – be early to work, honor my co-workers, empower and build up those we serve. 

::Family – healthy relationships, seek restoration 

::Physical health – eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising 3-4x a week – get back in the groove. In the famous words of Nike – “just do it.” 

::Be plugged into God, first and foremost. Intimacy with Him is first and then embrace the role of community. Who is asking me the tough questions and speaking truth into my life? I can’t sit around and wait for it to happen. I will initiate.

I will treat myself kindly. (chapter 6) I will continue to declare prophetic words over myself. I will speak words of life. This Warrior Daughter will keep laughing. (pg 114) I will put myself in places and in relationship with those who stir up deep joy. I will keep sharing testimonies. I will keep living a life that results in testimonies to share. I will be a world changer. I will help equip others to be world changers, too.

  

I have a lot to learn from chapters 9-11. But it was like being let in on the gameplan of the enemy and beginning to rip it up right in front of him. I have been given power and authority, I just need to learn how to rightly use all the tools on my belt. Increase the gift of discernment, Father God…
  

As I learn to move with the Holy Spirit on these things, I will stand confidently in peace when the battle is strong.
  

I will also ask God to show me more about perfect love so that I can live more in it myself. And give it out. This city is craving perfect love.

  

With all that said, I, His Warrior Daughter, will keep my peace and keep growing.
  

…because my God is victorious and lives inside of me…
  

Yeah Yeah YEAH.

yada yada yada.

I am growing increasingly thankful that I journal.

Looking back is always an adventure.

While I have many recorded words beginning from my junior high years - and can I just say some of them cause me to laugh, cry, and cringe all in the same paragraph - the other night I powered up my time machine with plutonium that created the magical 1.21 gigawatts of energy in the flux capacitor and slammed on the accelerator. When the speedometer hit 88 mph - Great Scott! - I found myself tucked away into November 14, 2005. (Not November 5, 1955...just to clarify. And if you don't know what I'm referencing here, I'm sorry for the confusion but I suggest you just move on. And when you're done reading this blog entry, add "Back to the Future" to your Netflix que.) 
  
I could write thousands of words about what happened as I sifted through the years 2005-2007. But tonight I'm going to share just a tiny glimpse of one of the themes that arose.

It has to do with something that God has been showing me again in the recent months and it's something we prayed together tonight at the end of class.

Part of the prayer went a little something like this: 

Yada yada yada...

Yep. Seriously. I think that was the first time ever I heard the words "yada yada yada" used in a prayer. But it made total sense. And I LOVED it.

Yada, in Hebrew, means "to know." I sensed the heart behind praying these words was a cry out to God to grow in our relationship with Him in intimate ways as we know Him and are known by Him.

One of the themes threaded throughout my time travels the other night was God persistently sharing the Truth that He knows me.

Intimately.

And that He wants me to know Him. 

Intimately.

This is from June 7, 2007:

There is not another person who could look into my eyes and know every depth within me - not my best friends, my family, or one day, even my husband. They each know or will know pieces, but the only one who can and does know me completely is God himself. To be so transparent before another...to be known and understood by someone more than I know and understand myself...God is AMAZING.

Sometimes it just hits me in a new and deeper way how much God knows me. 

He knows you, too. He longs to be near you. His love is greater than anything we can fathom. It's true.

We were created to know Him and be known by Him. But we rejected God by choosing to walk the opposite direction and seek satisfaction and to know and be known by things or people instead of God Himself. God wanted our affections. We threw them away to selfishness, lust, pride, other people, success...to name a few. This brought about death and utter separation from that intimate relationship with our perfect and Holy Creator. Our imperfections couldn't stand in His presence. (Perfect and imperfect can't mesh together.) All this brought a whole lot of brokenness, sickness, and darkness into this world as it gave power to the enemy (satan). 

But Good News - the story didn't end there...

God made a way to be made new again...to give us a second chance at all of this. He sent Jesus straight into the brokenness, sickness, and darkness in our world as the perfect sacrifice to win us back to God. When Jesus died on the cross and then rose again, he defeated death and the enemy's power over us! He satisfied the wrath of God. Jesus stood in our place, taking on the death we deserved for our running away from God and rejecting the One who made us. And Jesus took back the power and authority of God's Kingdom and made it possible for us to be healed in every way and enter back into intimate relationship as Sons and Daughters of the Living God...so that we can partner with Him to bring Life and Hope into all the messed up-ness of our lives and in this world so it will ALL be restored back to it's original design...

to know God and be known by God.

Intimately. 

Yada yada yada...

He knows and loves you. Will you give God your everything to know and love Him back and join the army of people bringing restoration in our world...walking in His power, authority, and goodness?

I'll let this song wrap this up. The first time I heard it, I about melted into a puddle of Suzanne on the floor in my room...

May His presence heal and restore you...

(You Know Me, Bethel - The Loft Sessions)  

living vicariously through other people's fireplaces.

You know what I'd like to have in my house someday? 

I'll give you a couple hints.

They are very amazing to sleep near in the dead of winter.

They emit light.

And warmth.

And I'd like one. (Did I mention that yet?)
  
What is it? 

A fireplace. Ahhhhhhhhh, just the thought makes me smile. 
  
Until I have one in my own place of residence, I guess I'll live vicariously through other people's fireplaces.

Lucky for me, tonight I am house sitting...and guess what? They have a fireplace. I will for sure be resting my head on the leather couch near it tonight. I'm pretty pumped about that. Just sayin.
  
I have spent almost all of my day since getting off work in this place with the fire burning. It's been a restful mixture of activities tonight.
  
As the fire burned in front of me, I read through some old journals and was moved to joyful and thankful tears by God's goodness and faithfulness. Kim Walker and Chris Quilala blasted their melodies through the stereo speakers as a new log caught fire. Em and Bill (niece and nephew) called and we chit chatted away, sharing stories and laughing together as the fire crackled in the background. I sat at the keyboard and was swept away with Daddy in His presence as the light of the fire illuminated the room. That was my most recent endeavor before coming to blog.

During that time, I was drawn into a familiar theme.

The words "come awake" resonated both in the room and in my spirit.

I lingered around in this song for quite some time.

"O Church, come stand in the Light. The glory of God has defeated the night...

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling over death by death.

Come awake, come awake.

Come and rise up from the grave.

Christ is risen from the dead, we are one with him again.

Come awake, come awake.

Come and rise up from the grave."
  
I speak awakening tonight. Awaken us, Daddy, with your presence. Awaken us to know who you are. 

And to know who we are.
   
Burn in us...

5 things.

About two months ago, a shift occurred.

One afternoon at school we were talking about one of our most discussed topics: the power of our thoughts and words.

That day, we wrote down anything in our lives we didn't have peace about or that was causing us stress.

Next, for each circumstance, we wrote down anything and everything we were thankful for about that situation. 

Lastly, for each circumstance, we asked God, "What do you want me to know about this situation?"

I literally felt a shift in me and in the room. By the end of this time there was a peace blanketing the room. 

It was outstandingly powerful.

And you know what else?

It stems straight from God's heart.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:6-8

One more - just for fun. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I've been thinking a lot about thankfulness since that day. I've also been putting it into practice.

That's what inspired this.

I wanted to see more first hand what happens when we really go after gratitude.

The goal was to focus not on the negative, but to intentionally choose and pursue the positive on a daily basis and think about such things, despite circumstances and despite where thoughts or emotions wanted try and carry me that day.

That was my initial 21 day adventure and pursuit. (It became a 21+ day adventure and pursuit.)

Each day, I asked and answered a "5 things" question. Every question was about thankfulness in a particular area of life. A complete list can be found here.

On the surface, it might have looked like a little Facebook rally for positivity. I promised then, and I promise now that it's way beyond that. 

Here are some things I'm learning on my 21+ day pursuit:

• It truly is part of God's heart and will for us. It's .
• Taking the first point and going one more step - if this is part of God's heart and will for us, then believe it's part of our true identity. As a Daughter of God, I should be thankful. Not out of a "have to be" but out of a natural overflow of who I am created to be. It's part of my new identity in Christ.
• The enemy tries to get us to act out of character. The enemy tries to deceive and make us believe that God isn't who He says He is and that we aren't who God says we are. So we have a choice. Who will we believe?
• Our outward circumstances do not need to dictate our inner condition. For far too long I have given my circumstances permission to control me. Nope. Time to stop that. Will there still be super hard days? ...Yes. Plan on it. BUT...we can choose how we respond. No more victim mentality. It's reeks destruction. Choose restoration instead.    
• Some days are much easier than others. However, the hard days are the true test days. It's when the rubber hits the road. It's in the most challenging days and circumstances that I have seen the greatest breakthrough by choosing thankfulness. 
• It's changing me. 
• It's changing my surroundings.
• It's contagious.
• Choosing thankfulness is like linking arms with God and His movements and is a part of seeing heaven come on earth. This is HUUUUUUGE. We can no longer underestimate our thoughts and words and the power behind them. (Sidenote - if choosing thankfulness links our arms with God...think of the implications of choosing negativity/complaining/whining/bitterness/unforgiveness/etc...I believe it's like linking arms with the demonic, evil realm. This really is a big deal. The enemy doesn't want us to know this. But too late. Secret's out.) 
• Unforgiveness makes it pretty stinkin' hard to be thankful. Unforgiveness makes us prisoners, locked up in a jail cell. Jesus has already paid the price for our freedom and new identity in Him. If you've repented (turned in the opposite direction of where you were going) and have given your life to Christ, you actually already hold the key to get of this jail cell. This key has a tag on it that reads, "Forgiveness." Many of us are trapped and don't realize it's not that hard to get out.
  Choose forgiveness. Be specific. Pray, "Father God, I forgive (specific person) for (name outloud the specific things)." Keep calling it out, giving God access to uproot the unhealthiness, bitterness, hurt, etc. Forgive yourself for partnering with unforgiveness and the things that come with it. Repent (turn the other direction). Ask God, "What is Your truth?" Listen for His voice and receive it. Whenever something is uprooted in us, something will take it's place. If it doesn't get filled with truth right away, more lies and deception will enter right back in.
• Living from a place of thankfulness is part of having a victorious mindset and living a victorious lifestyle. 

Still want more proof that there's something with this whole thankfulness thing? Here are a few articles I found online. I'm coming from the perspective and truth that God is the originator of thankfulness, that He's the giver of the blessings in our lives. He is who I thank for these things. Some of these sites don't hold that view but are recognizing there is something very powerful about gratitude.

http://www.managingthought.com/forwardthinkinggentlereminder/volume5/thepowerofthankfulness

https://www.thepowerofthankfulness.com/index.html

http://www.ibethel.tv/watch/1160/the-power-of-thankfulness/2011/11/20

But want the ultimate proof? Try it out in your own life. Visit 5 things - a 21 day pursuit on Facebook.

I dare you to open yourself up to God and His heart in this whole ordeal and see what happens...