eat. pray. love. hmm...

i saw eat. pray. love. today. going in, i knew the title and i knew it was based on a book, which is a memoir. that's about it. 

(random fact: i actually like watching movies without knowing much about the story. i like to let it all unfold while watching.)

from an entertainment perspective this movie was alright. it's kinda long. you could wait until it's out on redbox and be just fine. that's my opinion.

i will say, though, i was surprised how much thought and emotion this movie evoked. it was far beyond an entertaining experience. 

to start off, i know that it's not intended to have a christian perspective. i am not trying to make it into something it was never intended to be. but given the reality that i am a Christ follower who is being shaped by His grace and Truth, my thoughts in response to this movie stem from my identity in Him.

because of that, eat. pray. love actually broke my heart. 

i think it speaks a message that we can somehow gain control of our lives by our own strength...that we can renew our mind by our own strength...that we have the power to forgive by our own strength...that we can worship whatever and it's fine...that we can run away from commitment...

i flat out disagree.

i try to gain control of my own life. in fact, i think in one way or another, we all do. but it leaves me empty and spinning out of control. God is in ultimately in control. not me. not you. 

i can't renew my own mind. Christ renews my mind. 

i can't forgive someone (or myself) without the reality of Christ first forgiving me/us.

we all worship something. who or what do we bow down to? who or what do we look to for direction and purpose? who or what are we devoted to? is it the God who created us? or is it a worthless idol? 

there were points in the movie i was moved to tears as i prayed and thanked Jesus for His grace. for His life. for His power over death and sin. for the joy of worshiping Him alone.

my heart longs for that to be true for other's as well. the truth is, for many people, it's not. life is about ourselves, not the amazing God who is the giver of life.

that is what breaks my heart.  

plan to be surprised

"i miss this.

God, this is when i feel so me. this is what i crave in duluth. part of me doesn't want to leave. yet i know i need to. being here is stretching me.

...

we were joking around about living arrangements and they said i should just move back...switch places with brian and sandi. i can't even think that way...even jokingly. i'd love to be here again.

Lord, i have to trust in whatever you're doing here."

this was part of a journal entry from august 14, 2009.  

i was in bemidji for a few days and spent one of them at diamond point for a chill day with God. i was reflecting on the time spent here around town and with friends. the words above were written that day.

being here stirred up so much in me those few days. i look back now and see that God was beginning to prepare the grounds for transitions to come. i just had NO idea they were coming!

a month and a half later, the possibility to move back to bemidji became a reality. a month after that i said yes. january hits, and i was here. fast forward to this summer and the scenario my friends and i semi-joked about was completely true. i had moved to bemidji. brian and sandi had moved to duluth.

last august when we were kinda joking about that scenario, i did NOT think it would really happen. but it did and in less than year later! 

i watched dan in real life last night with tracy, brittany and solveig. one of my favorite lines is "plan to be surprised." 


yep. there ya go. :)