grace.

The coming fall sunshine was sending it's warmth onto my face as I sat in a very special place.


For now, I'll just tell you that I was sitting on a bench. A very simple yet unique bench in downtown Bemidji.


I sit there a lot.


Why?


Because God is meeting people there. True story.


Lately, there are stories springing up daily.

On Monday, I was enjoying a shake from The Breeze, reading, journaling and noticing the many people walking in and out of Wells Fargo. At one point, one particular women caught my eye. 


She was nothing short of precious.


She wore an adorable sun hat, a flowery shirt that she pulled off perfectly and walked carefully and purposefully with her little walker into Wells Fargo while a younger gentleman held the door open for her.


I couldn't help but keep my eyes on her as she walked by. Something in my spirit stirred and I knew I needed to talk to her.


As she was in the bank, I prayed and asked God what I was to do and how I was to pray for her. The main theme was blessing. As I was getting what and how to pray for her, tears filled my eyes. I can't even begin to explain to you why. It just happened.


One very specific thing was that God would bless her family and her sons and daughters. I didn't know if she had biological sons or daughters, but I was beginning to wonder if perhaps she was a spiritual mother to many sons and daughters.


Well, I waited outside on that bench. Close to 15 minutes passed by and she still hadn't emerged from the bank. I turned my eyes towards the door and saw her walker and I realized she was sitting down in a chair waiting to talk to one of the bankers.


Almost immediately I felt a nudge to actually go inside to sit down next to her and talk and pray for her there instead of waiting for her to come out.


Ummmm...


Thus began a wrestling match inside. I'll be totally honest, I was super excited for her to come out and I was not afraid to talk to her on the street. But for whatever reasons, the idea of going inside and sitting down next to her to talk somehow made me battle fear. I was humbled. Suddenly I realized I wanted to do this on my terms.


Here's some of the conversation with my gracious Dad. You should be able to tell quickly who is saying what.


"Are you sure, God? Can't I just wait for her to come out...? Am I really supposed to go in? Is it that big of a deal...?"


Those are just a few of my thoughts and questions as I wrestled.


As quickly as the nudge to go into the store was inside, so was the temptation to question and doubt.


"There's a purpose Suzanne...I'm teaching you obedience and I want to show my glory..."


"But it's so small and quiet in there...and..." yada yada yada...excuses.


"Trust..."


Well, eventually I did gather my things and I walked into the tiny Wells Fargo on the corner of the street praying as I stepped inside, "Okay, Father...here we go..."


I walked through the doors and as soon as I got inside, one of the bankers was walking towards the door with a customer and the cute lady with the sun hat was getting up from her chair to make her way to talk to women that worked there.


Now, there's not a lot of space inside this Wells Fargo and I just kind of stood there figuring out where to stand while thinking, "I missed it."


So I went back to the bench and sat. I knew I could still talk to her when she came out but I was starting to play the "what if" game. 


What if I had gone in right when I was urged to do so? What if I prayed for her in there? What if...what if...


Before I could get too far with that game, she came out and I got up, walked to her and asked how she was doing today. We exchanged names and then she asked me how I was doing and what I was doing.


I told her I saw her walk in to the bank and when I saw her, my spirit was stirred and I felt I was to talk to her and pray for her.


She smiled and said, "I will take all the prayer for blessing that I can get. And I just have to say, I am a blessed person. I'm 86 years old. I was a missionary in Turkey for many years. I have done a lot or work in the church. I have so much to be thankful for!" 


Spiritual mother to many sons and daughters...um, yep!


Then she reached her arm out and placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "So yes, you can certainly pray for me." And she began to walk away.


I envisioned actually praying for her in her presence and I asked quickly if I could right now. She said, "No, I have to get going." She made her way to the corner to cross the street and I assured her that I'd take time to pray for her as we parted ways.


So I sat back down and prayed the things that were on my mind and heart for her.


Well, most of that story didn't unfold like I thought perhaps it would the moment I first saw her. So I started to unpack it all with God.


Again, I entered back into the "what if" game.


God quickly intercepted. 


"Stop, Suzanne. Don't play that game. That's not the point. It's distracting you from Me."


So I started writing down what happened and as I'm writing, it's like God was debriefing it with me and teaching me.


As I'm writing the story, I'm hearing God interact with me. I had a song playing in my ear from Justin Rizzo. I wasn't really listening to the song until this particular moment. It's like three different voices all locked in together at once in a powerful moment.


I heavily sensed that God was telling me that there's grace as I learn obedience with him. While I hear that, the song in my ears declares, "grace..." and also at that exact second I'm at the point in the story where the woman and I exchanged names and I wrote it down. What was her name?


Grace.


I stopped writing. I almost stopped breathing for a second. 


"Ohhhhhhhhhhh...okay. Wow..."


I am convinced that God is always doing so much more than what we can see in any given circumstance at any given moment. When I first saw Grace walking into the bank and was so compelled to talk to her and pray for her, I had zero inclination that part of what God wanted to do through this all was meet me and bless me, too.


I said earlier that people are meeting him in that place. I have seen a numerous encounters this summer alone.


But one of the many purposes of meeting Grace that day was because God wanted to encounter me in the place where He's meeting so many.


He spoke to me with such power and authority, yet with gentleness that changed my heart. 


"There is power in this all. My Kingdom is coming in this place. When you hear my voice, just go for it. No need to wait when I'm telling you to go. Grace for you, my daughter. I'm growing you! And I enjoy watching you learn faithfulness and obedience. Keep learning...put yourself before before me. I will keep you steady. That's a promise, my daughter. I love you."


If you are ever tempted to play the "what if" game with God, stop. As a friend said to me that day, "Don't even pick it up off the shelf." I'll go one step further. Don't even purchase the game and bring it into your house.


Friends, God delights in growing us. He knows our hearts. He extends grace.


Receive. Receive. Receive.