hudson taylor had a point.

i can't seem to get off of the computer until i post this.

the description under "who am i" on this blog caught my eye tonight.

an ordinary girl learning through the different seasons of life to love the Lord her God with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.

learning is right! it's certainly a process...a lifelong one at that. 

the beginning of this learning process began 12 years ago when those words about loving God from matthew 22:34-40 (originally from deuteronomy 6:5) cut to my heart.  

what is shared below has been tucked away in a folder on my computer since my senior year of college. it's a story that was used as part of a campus outreach that spring.

it's the readers digest version of how God pursued me and drew me into relationship with him.

...

If you would have known me when I was growing up, you would have seen a “good kid.” I did my best to excel and do well. I was shy and quiet and didn't really do much to get myself into trouble. I did well in school. I did well in music and sports. I seemed to be pleasing my parents and my teachers. I seemed to be pleasing myself. I felt like I had a pretty good reputation. I figured I had plenty going for me. Things were “good”…or so I thought.


But I was missing something. I was living to please everyone else. It left me empty. There came a point in high school when I realized that there was something greater that would give true purpose for my life. This something greater is Jesus Christ.


A close friend of mine invited me to check out God together by being a part of a Bible study the summer of 1998. To be honest, I have no idea why I said “yes.” A year earlier, I’m pretty sure I would have given an enthusiastic “no!” in response to an invitation like that.


Regardless, I went to the Bible study. The summer of 1998 was a summer of spiritual growth. I was shown that there was nothing I could do, regardless how “good” I was, to win God’s love. God already loved me. That is the exact reason God sent Jesus to this world to die on the cross 2,000 years ago in order to rise again for me, for you, for every single person.


One night I was reading Matthew chapter 22 in the Bible. Jesus was asked one day what was the greatest commandment. Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” I remember reading the passage over and over, hoping that the word “all” would go away. It didn’t. In fact, it seemed only to be magnified.


It was then I realized that in the midst of the good things I had done in my life, that I couldn’t be perfect and live up to what God wanted for me. There were countless things that I had done that did not show God that I loved him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind.


It came to the point where I knew I needed to make a choice. Would I receive the gift? That summer, I made the choice to receive the gift that Jesus offers.


I have chosen to believe that there is one God who created people to be close to Him. I believe that the choices we make separate us from God. Because of this, He sent Jesus Christ to this earth as a perfect being. I believe that Jesus died on a cross to die for all of our sin and rose again to make it possible for us to be close to God, just as God intends and desires. Every single person is faced with the decision to accept this. It is only through Jesus that we can be saved from an eternity separated from the God who made us. The Word of God, which is from God and is truth, points me to the Lord, Jesus Christ.


I have chosen to follow and believe.

Do you agree?  

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i still agree, but would add that Jesus isn't something we add into our lives to feel good about what eternity will look like for us. we are called to deny ourselves and in exchange, live a new life in Christ. we become a part of sharing the Gospel (Good News) with others. sharing Christ IS a part of this new life.

are you following Jesus? if not, what is stopping you?

if you are...are you sharing the Good News? (this next question challenges me every time...) if not, are you truly following him?

"the great commission isn't an option to be considered; it is a command to be obeyed." hudson taylor 

interrupt my life.

it had this acoustic, rhythmic intro that was fresh and catchy. it was the kind of beat that caused me to use the desk in front of me as some sort of hand drum. i was drawn in.

"wash me clean" by shawn mcdonald. check it out.

the first time around i was diggin' the music so much i didn't listen closely to the words. the second time around was different and it soon become a prayer. the whole song is great, but verse two really got me.

"consume my wandering thoughts and renew my mind.
remake and recreate...
and interrupt my life."

i have been learning a lot about myself lately. near the top of the list is a realization that i think far too much and listen not near enough.

thinking is obviously not always a bad thing. God gave us minds. let's use them for His glory. but he also gave us ears. so let's use them and listen. yes, to one another. but even more so...let's listen to Him. i have a tendancy to think and think and overthink and think about overthinking...topped off with more thinking.

sound exhausting?

it is.

with all this thinking going on, it's kind of distracting to hear very clearly.

"consume my wandering thoughts..."

i got stuck on that prayer for awhile.

then the kicker came...

"and interrupt my life."

this line really got my thinking. (ha! i very much realize the irony of that statement in light of what i just wrote. but come along with me for just a minute.)

am i/are we bold enough to sincerely pray a prayer like this, "God, interrupt my life"?

what might happen if we do?

what if we are called to surrender something we may have found just a little bit too much comfort in and know deep down it's really not the very best for us?

what if we are challenged to spend our time, our money, our resources...differently?

i feel the sting of these questions. but i know deep down it's a good sting. there is some heart checking going on. as that process continues and i have begun to listen, i have heard some different "what ifs".

let's ask this again: what might happen if we do pray, "God interrupt my life"?

what if in the surrender we find healing from brokenness, addictions and pain?

what if we find deep joy in spending our time, money and resources differently?

what if your neighbor...your best friend...the person next to you in class...the stranger walking down the street...the little girl you see at the park each week...the guy in the check out line...your teammate...your dad...your mom...your brother or sister...your niece or nephew...finds joy and is transformed by Christ's Hope because we prayed this prayer and partnered with Him?

what if...?