a lot of people ask me how the transition has been going since i moved to bemidji. i typically respond by saying, "the last couple of months have been intense with a lot happening. moving, Christmas, urbana, starting on campus, building new community...but through it all everything has gone quite smoothly." it really has!
i am thankful.
there have been moments of feeling overwhelmed and scatterbrained, no doubt. but there has been a lot that has caused me to be thankful and smile in my first three weeks here.
-working on a team! this has been a tremendous blessing.
-the day things were all in place at my apartment. i lit some candles, sat in my favorite chair and quietly enjoyed this new space God has provided me.
-having great helpers with the move even in the midst of -30 degree weather. fishers, brittany, annie, aj, adrienne...i was very blessed by them! (side note: moving on one of the coldest days of the year makes you move faster. i guess that's a perk??)
-getting to know students here. seeing God work in their lives makes me smile. a lot.
-meeting and getting to know my neighbor, solveig. we're mutually thankful that we are "normal" ;)
-part of yesterday i had kind of a crummy attitude and was frustrated. part of the frustration was stemming from somethings that i thought were prepared but actually weren't. so brittany and i needed to read matthew 14:22-33 to get something ready for thursday night. ironically, it's something i totally needed to read. Jesus is walking on the water and calls peter out onto the water as well. peter steps out and starts towards Jesus. he's doing alright until he notices the wind and is distracted from Jesus. he becomes afraid and he starts to sink. i look back now and it makes me smile that God used that passage to show me i was a lot like peter yesterday. distracted from Jesus, focusing too much on the wind and sinking. but there was Jesus immediately reaching out his hand to catch me (vs 31). oh how little my faith can be. God is good and in control. i smile not because i can have weak faith in those moments. but i smile because God pursues me in that, pulls me up and speaks truth. that's worth smiling about.
-hanging out with fawn and sarah. who would have thought we'd live in the same city again. i like that.
-house/dog sitting and having some time off out in the peaceful country, taking luka for walks each day in freshly fallen snow and playing piano late into the night.
-a call from my dear friend stacy last night. such an encouragement! i hung up the phone smiling.
-getting ready for the relationships track at break away...the first time i did this three years ago i remember i was really struggling thinking about relationships. and so desired to be in one. at first i was actually crabby about the fact i was helping lead that track that year. God has a funny sense of humor sometimes. lol God has done a lot of work in my life since that point. this time around, i'm finding a joy in preparing for and leading this track. i'm looking forward to the weekend!
-oh! i almost forgot this. but i get a call from tracy this weekend. her and amanda were hanging out. (more smiling.) i thought they said they were ice fishing by bayfront. they were actually ice skating by bayfront. so later in the conversation when i asked if they caught any fish...it led to a pretty good laugh. "what did you think we were doing?!"
-i know there is much more that has made me smile in these recent weeks...just knowing there are more than what's coming to mind right now...another reason to smile, i suppose.
:)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
moving into a new neighborhood
welcome 2010!
as i type i sit a the cabin coffeehouse in bemidji just having enjoyed a turkey sandwhich and cup of chicken toritilla soup (one of my faves here!). AND it's only a minute walk tops from my apartment and conviently has some computers for customer use. perfect. :)
it's very frigid here today. i'm not exatly sure but i wouldn't be surprised if it dipped down to -30 or more last night. bertha (my car) didn't like this very much and has refused to start today. thankfully, britteny is coming to give me a hand. and then the move begins! i thought it could be cold when i moved but i didn't expect it to be quite this cold! or at least i hoped it wouldn't. but i'm determined to get my stuff into the apartment today. :) i'm thankful for friends in duluth that got me to this point and friends here who are giving me hand! you guys are awesome.
the last few weeks have been full. moving things into storge, leaving duluth:(, coming to bemidji:), Christmas, time in waseca, urbana, and moving things again. each of these "events" could have their own blog entry devoted to them.
i'm excited to move into this neighborhood (one theme from urbana) here and see how God is already dwelling and working here. this new year is truly the beginning of many new things!
in the midst of everything right now i have moments of feeling pretty overwhelmed, truthfully. i really don't want to miss out on processing through ubana...such an amazing week but A LOT to pray about. and sit with God in. there is a lot i want to unpack (litterally and figuratively) right now. i look forward to finding my place in this new neighborhood and making time to just be.
friends, be blessed as this new year begins!
as i type i sit a the cabin coffeehouse in bemidji just having enjoyed a turkey sandwhich and cup of chicken toritilla soup (one of my faves here!). AND it's only a minute walk tops from my apartment and conviently has some computers for customer use. perfect. :)
it's very frigid here today. i'm not exatly sure but i wouldn't be surprised if it dipped down to -30 or more last night. bertha (my car) didn't like this very much and has refused to start today. thankfully, britteny is coming to give me a hand. and then the move begins! i thought it could be cold when i moved but i didn't expect it to be quite this cold! or at least i hoped it wouldn't. but i'm determined to get my stuff into the apartment today. :) i'm thankful for friends in duluth that got me to this point and friends here who are giving me hand! you guys are awesome.
the last few weeks have been full. moving things into storge, leaving duluth:(, coming to bemidji:), Christmas, time in waseca, urbana, and moving things again. each of these "events" could have their own blog entry devoted to them.
i'm excited to move into this neighborhood (one theme from urbana) here and see how God is already dwelling and working here. this new year is truly the beginning of many new things!
in the midst of everything right now i have moments of feeling pretty overwhelmed, truthfully. i really don't want to miss out on processing through ubana...such an amazing week but A LOT to pray about. and sit with God in. there is a lot i want to unpack (litterally and figuratively) right now. i look forward to finding my place in this new neighborhood and making time to just be.
friends, be blessed as this new year begins!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
emmanuel.
and i call to you
from my darkest places
and i call to you
from my broken places
and i call out to you
with my simple prayers
and i call out to you
with my heart filled prayers
emmanuel
emmanuel
God we thirst
emmanuel
God we thirst
reveal to us
emmanuel
oh hear God we thirst
emmaneul
reveal yourself to us
emmanuel
oh hear God we thirst
you never leave us
you never leave us
you never leave us nor forsake us
and i'm aware of your omnipresence
my theology isn't always my existence
i wanna be with you where you are
emmanuel
the place where you are
give me eyes to see
emmanuel
you're God with us
you never leave us
you're right here right now
in the place where i am
you never leave
in the space next to me
that's where you are
i can't hide from your presence Lord
where can i hide from your presence Lord?
you're where i am
oh you never leave
you never leave
you're God with us
you never leave us
you're right here right now
in the place where i am
you never leave
in the space next to me
that's where you are
i can't hide from your presence Lord
where can i hide from your presence Lord?
you're where i am
oh you never leave
you never leave
emmanuel by Paul Anleitner
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
craving.
i can't help to think back over the day. today was pretty sweet - i spent like five hours with two incredible women of God. i could have spent another five easily. i felt like a sponge soaking up Truth as we talked and prayed. it was refreshing to my soul, truly. sometimes we get even just a little taste of such goodness from God that leaves us craving more. more of Him. His voice. Truth. healing. freedom. joy. this time definitely left me craving.
in the midst of easily feeling overwhelmed by a lot right now i am thankful for a God who speaks to us.
i heard such a cool song on the radio while driving in my car tonight. i remember the word emmanuel was in it - but it wasn't the well known oh come oh come emmanuel. it was a song i had never heard before. but there was something about that song that fit so well with what God was doing today. i hope i hear it again soon and figure out the name and artist who sings it!
tonight, i had a fantabulous time with some css students planning an outreach for next semester and going to bentleyville.
i am going to miss them. true story.
in the midst of easily feeling overwhelmed by a lot right now i am thankful for a God who speaks to us.
i heard such a cool song on the radio while driving in my car tonight. i remember the word emmanuel was in it - but it wasn't the well known oh come oh come emmanuel. it was a song i had never heard before. but there was something about that song that fit so well with what God was doing today. i hope i hear it again soon and figure out the name and artist who sings it!
tonight, i had a fantabulous time with some css students planning an outreach for next semester and going to bentleyville.
i am going to miss them. true story.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
eighteen years and counting.
i remember a popular email forward from a few years ago called "a reason, a season, or a lifetime." basically, it talked about the different people that are in our lives (and that we are in for others) and their different purposes. all are special friendship and relationships, but have different purposes and time frames. i'm beyond thankful for different people in my life along the way who have made influential impacts in my life. i could share many stories of people who have been in my life for reasons, seasons and lifetimes. i can get overwhelmed (in a good way) with the amazing people i have gotten to know so far in life. tonight, i'm specifically reminded and thankful for one of my lifetime friendships.
we've known each other from the time she had an afro haircut & wore stirrup pants and i had neon shoelace & wore my bibs only half buttoned. our paths crossed in third grade in mrs. seehafer's class. that was 18 years ago.
since then we've had many adventures...too many to count, really. and i love it! as any good friendships do, we've had some ups and downs. but through it all have remained great friends. i thank God for our friendship and the many stories from along the way. oh how we could write a book of our stories! most include tummy hurting laughter - something that i treasure most about our friendship. today we had some quality amy and suzanne time. it was refreshing in the midst of the craziness of life. mcdonalds holiday pies, goofing around in the stores while she shopped, watching the holiday & elf and enjoying some white zinfandel made it a pretty grand day if ya ask me.
God has given some truly amazing friends along the way...amy, you're most certainly one of them. :)
we've known each other from the time she had an afro haircut & wore stirrup pants and i had neon shoelace & wore my bibs only half buttoned. our paths crossed in third grade in mrs. seehafer's class. that was 18 years ago.
since then we've had many adventures...too many to count, really. and i love it! as any good friendships do, we've had some ups and downs. but through it all have remained great friends. i thank God for our friendship and the many stories from along the way. oh how we could write a book of our stories! most include tummy hurting laughter - something that i treasure most about our friendship. today we had some quality amy and suzanne time. it was refreshing in the midst of the craziness of life. mcdonalds holiday pies, goofing around in the stores while she shopped, watching the holiday & elf and enjoying some white zinfandel made it a pretty grand day if ya ask me.
God has given some truly amazing friends along the way...amy, you're most certainly one of them. :)
Monday, December 7, 2009
give presence.
speaking of Christmas presents from last time...
i was introduced to something called the advent conspiracy at church a couple of weeks ago. i have definitely been challenged by it as God works to transform my attitude and perspective.
if you haven't heard of it or checked out the videos/website - take a look and enter the story.
http://www.adventconspiracy.org/
the promo vid and the one called "enter the story" are good vids to catch the vision for what it's all about.
worship fully.
spend less.
give more.
love all.
what do ya think?
i was introduced to something called the advent conspiracy at church a couple of weeks ago. i have definitely been challenged by it as God works to transform my attitude and perspective.
if you haven't heard of it or checked out the videos/website - take a look and enter the story.
http://www.adventconspiracy.org/
the promo vid and the one called "enter the story" are good vids to catch the vision for what it's all about.
worship fully.
spend less.
give more.
love all.
what do ya think?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
waiting.
when i was a little girl, i loved Christmas.
wait, time out. allow me to share that statement with the full truth.
when i was a little girl, i loved Christmas...presents.
i loved the presents a lot. but i did not like waiting a lot...or even a little.
until after one particular Christmas.
we always put up the tree shortly after Thanksgiving. shortly after that my mom would start to place wrapped gifts under the tree. now, that means there is a span of about 3 weeks having the nicely wrapped gifts out in plane sight before Christmas Eve (which was when the gifts were to be opened).
well for a 9 year old impatient little girl, that was a long time. i grew up on a farm and there were many afternoons that my parents would both be outside working and doing chores. thus meaning that the pretty tree, many gifts and 9 year old girl were unattended for a short time.
one of these days i decided to take action. i couldn't wait - or so i told myself. i scoped out the situation, making sure my actions would not be seen or caught and i approached the tree bearing the many gifts. i looked at each present to find out which tags had the letters that spelled "to: suzanne" on them. i then, very carefully, picked one up from it's place. and then, very meticulously, pulled up the tape and unwrapped the gift just enough to be able to see what was inside. after getting excited about what was inside i would make sure the tape was securely adhered back to the wrapping paper and then place the gift back under the tree - as close to the original position as possible.
stealthy, right?
i repeated this process for each gift that was to be mine.
i was pretty proud of my own little covert operation.
i shake my head now and laugh. but seriously, what i little stinker (as my grandpa would say) i was.
the days and weeks passed and Christmas Eve grew closer. usually those days were filled with anticipation and excitement. but that year the days were like any other. i was still excited for Christmas Eve...sort of. but it was different. i already knew what i was going to be in each of those wrapped presents and thinking of opening them together as a family became kind of mundane, sadly.
Christmas Eve came and the time to pass out the gifts came. and i opened mine and tried to act surprised each time. while everyone else was enjoying this time, i truthfully was not. as i sat there that night i no longer was all that proud of my stealthy actions from a few weeks prior.
i felt like i ruined the fun of Christmas Eve. i never did that again. instead, i waited.
i look back now and realize that i ruined the joy of waiting. i don't usually associate joy with waiting, but i think there is something so good about waiting. even when it's hard and things don't make sense.
often i think, "i wish i knew where i'd be in 5 years. where will i be living? what will i be doing? will i be marred? will i have a family?" often i wish i could just take a peak into the future and see. but then i remember that Christmas Eve night when knowing what was wrapped up before it was time to upwrap the gifts was really quite disappointing.
deep down, i guess i don't want to know. although i don't always think this way, i know that i do desire to wait and see what God has in store for the future...the joy filled days and tear filled days...even where exactly i'll be living in bemidji and when exactly i'll be moving...in the transitions coming...in life beyond this next season...and even the dessert experiences yet to come.
there have been some definitely surprised along the way so far and i'm sure there are surprises to come...and i want them to remain just that - surprises.
in the words of the character dan from dan in real life - "plan to be surprised."
wait, time out. allow me to share that statement with the full truth.
when i was a little girl, i loved Christmas...presents.
i loved the presents a lot. but i did not like waiting a lot...or even a little.
until after one particular Christmas.
we always put up the tree shortly after Thanksgiving. shortly after that my mom would start to place wrapped gifts under the tree. now, that means there is a span of about 3 weeks having the nicely wrapped gifts out in plane sight before Christmas Eve (which was when the gifts were to be opened).
well for a 9 year old impatient little girl, that was a long time. i grew up on a farm and there were many afternoons that my parents would both be outside working and doing chores. thus meaning that the pretty tree, many gifts and 9 year old girl were unattended for a short time.
one of these days i decided to take action. i couldn't wait - or so i told myself. i scoped out the situation, making sure my actions would not be seen or caught and i approached the tree bearing the many gifts. i looked at each present to find out which tags had the letters that spelled "to: suzanne" on them. i then, very carefully, picked one up from it's place. and then, very meticulously, pulled up the tape and unwrapped the gift just enough to be able to see what was inside. after getting excited about what was inside i would make sure the tape was securely adhered back to the wrapping paper and then place the gift back under the tree - as close to the original position as possible.
stealthy, right?
i repeated this process for each gift that was to be mine.
i was pretty proud of my own little covert operation.
i shake my head now and laugh. but seriously, what i little stinker (as my grandpa would say) i was.
the days and weeks passed and Christmas Eve grew closer. usually those days were filled with anticipation and excitement. but that year the days were like any other. i was still excited for Christmas Eve...sort of. but it was different. i already knew what i was going to be in each of those wrapped presents and thinking of opening them together as a family became kind of mundane, sadly.
Christmas Eve came and the time to pass out the gifts came. and i opened mine and tried to act surprised each time. while everyone else was enjoying this time, i truthfully was not. as i sat there that night i no longer was all that proud of my stealthy actions from a few weeks prior.
i felt like i ruined the fun of Christmas Eve. i never did that again. instead, i waited.
i look back now and realize that i ruined the joy of waiting. i don't usually associate joy with waiting, but i think there is something so good about waiting. even when it's hard and things don't make sense.
often i think, "i wish i knew where i'd be in 5 years. where will i be living? what will i be doing? will i be marred? will i have a family?" often i wish i could just take a peak into the future and see. but then i remember that Christmas Eve night when knowing what was wrapped up before it was time to upwrap the gifts was really quite disappointing.
deep down, i guess i don't want to know. although i don't always think this way, i know that i do desire to wait and see what God has in store for the future...the joy filled days and tear filled days...even where exactly i'll be living in bemidji and when exactly i'll be moving...in the transitions coming...in life beyond this next season...and even the dessert experiences yet to come.
there have been some definitely surprised along the way so far and i'm sure there are surprises to come...and i want them to remain just that - surprises.
in the words of the character dan from dan in real life - "plan to be surprised."
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